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fuck yeah, gibbons

A blog devoted to the jesters of the rainforest.
Aug 25 '14
vladimirontoast:

'YEA, I MAY BE TINY, BUT I SWEAR TO THE APE GOD ALMIGHTY! SOON I WILL SWING ON EVERYTHING!

vladimirontoast:

'YEA, I MAY BE TINY, BUT I SWEAR TO THE APE GOD ALMIGHTY! SOON I WILL SWING ON EVERYTHING!

Jul 23 '14
'You know, it's pretty messed up… I was just swinging home the other night, I wasn't doing anything or nothing, and I see this guy a few trees away just staring at me. I look at him and he just carries on staring at me, like I'm the spawn of satan or something, for a good thirty, maybe forty seconds. He wasn't a big dude or anything, he just looked rough, fur all ruffled, weird look in his eyes. Anyway, eventually this guy comes up to me and we don't break eye contact at any point, it's getting weird, right, but I figure I gotta stand my ground, animal instinct and all, but he gets right up close, we're pretty much nose to nose and I can feel him breathing on me, but I still don't flinch. I don't want to make the first move, but it's starting to get ridiculous, I mean, I've got things to do. Slowly, he raises a boney, stalk like finger to his mouth, slides it in, real deep, staring at me all the while. He pulls it out, dribble falling off of it, his eyelids start quivering and he breathes heavy. He pulls it out and sticks it deep into my ear, deep enough that I'm worried my brain's gonna get pushed out and I can't do anything but just keep looking at him, my mouth open so far I think I'm gonna catch flies in it. Then he twists it once, twice, a third time and pulls it out. Closes his eyes, gently kisses me on the forehead, then swings off like a flash. Honestly, it's messed up.

'You know, it's pretty messed up… I was just swinging home the other night, I wasn't doing anything or nothing, and I see this guy a few trees away just staring at me. I look at him and he just carries on staring at me, like I'm the spawn of satan or something, for a good thirty, maybe forty seconds. He wasn't a big dude or anything, he just looked rough, fur all ruffled, weird look in his eyes. Anyway, eventually this guy comes up to me and we don't break eye contact at any point, it's getting weird, right, but I figure I gotta stand my ground, animal instinct and all, but he gets right up close, we're pretty much nose to nose and I can feel him breathing on me, but I still don't flinch. I don't want to make the first move, but it's starting to get ridiculous, I mean, I've got things to do. Slowly, he raises a boney, stalk like finger to his mouth, slides it in, real deep, staring at me all the while. He pulls it out, dribble falling off of it, his eyelids start quivering and he breathes heavy. He pulls it out and sticks it deep into my ear, deep enough that I'm worried my brain's gonna get pushed out and I can't do anything but just keep looking at him, my mouth open so far I think I'm gonna catch flies in it. Then he twists it once, twice, a third time and pulls it out. Closes his eyes, gently kisses me on the forehead, then swings off like a flash. Honestly, it's messed up.

Apr 15 '14
'So look; I'mma get real with y'all right now'

'So look; I'mma get real with y'all right now'

Apr 13 '14
'You ever been hypnotised by an ape before, son? I'm gonna make you do weird stuff'

'You ever been hypnotised by an ape before, son? I'm gonna make you do weird stuff'

Mar 8 '14
This handsome rogue has just finished a bucket of the Colonel’s finest.

This handsome rogue has just finished a bucket of the Colonel’s finest.

Mar 8 '14

Anonymous asked:

are you a teacher help

What bothers you, my child?

Dec 17 '13
'OH GOD, I'VE LOST THE BABY! HAS ANYBODY SEEN THE BABY?!'

'OH GOD, I'VE LOST THE BABY! HAS ANYBODY SEEN THE BABY?!'

Sep 27 '12
"Work it, bitch"

"Work it, bitch"

Sep 26 '12

I realise I haven’t posted anything in months, but who can stay mad at a guy who posts a video of a baby gibbon in a nappy.

Jul 19 '12
This gibbon recently passed his parole hearing, after serving 15 years for murder in the second degree… Not really, he works at a bowling alley.

This gibbon recently passed his parole hearing, after serving 15 years for murder in the second degree… Not really, he works at a bowling alley.

Jun 24 '12
"Nobody told you to stop."

"Nobody told you to stop."

May 13 '12
'I like the shirt, but does it make my arms look too poofy?'

'I like the shirt, but does it make my arms look too poofy?'

Apr 28 '12
This reminds me of the intro to one of those old cheesy 80’s soap operas where all the characters turn around and look at the camera after they’ve said their name, all handsome and stuff. Except this show is about gibbons. 

This reminds me of the intro to one of those old cheesy 80’s soap operas where all the characters turn around and look at the camera after they’ve said their name, all handsome and stuff. Except this show is about gibbons. 

Apr 19 '12
"Don’t look so sad, bro. C’mon, give me a hug. Haha, no. Not really."

"Don’t look so sad, bro. C’mon, give me a hug. Haha, no. Not really."

Apr 17 '12
"Left my keys on the other side of the river, back in a minute."

"Left my keys on the other side of the river, back in a minute."